Listen to JAMIE

MOVED

2007-12-04T00:12:00.000+08:00

People... I present to you..

www.listentojamie.com

Thanks CongKai for the hosting and domain!

Felicity

2007-12-03T20:55:00.000+08:00

It rained till early evening.
Then I saw the sun shone through the clouds and birds started to chirp.
End of the story.

Awoke before 6:30 in the morning.

Dental appointment at 9am. Anaesthesia functioned till 12pm.
In between, I drooled like a little baby.
And tasted blood in my mouth constantly for hours.
But mum was surprised at how fast I recovered and started eating again.

I even made coleslaw on myself.

Tomorrow is the last day of SPM. Finally.

And I learnt a new word today: Felicity.

Sunday

2007-12-02T20:36:00.000+08:00

It's been one of a hectic day.
Hours of pointless workshop plus hours of empty waiting.

Came back home after the sun set and with a weary body.

But there were also hours of rains.
Nothing to say, but LOVES!

I looked at Tina Toad preparing her dinner.
And at times, disturbed her.
Until she showed me the knife on her hand.
This is the first time I see people eating fried bee hoon with cheese.
Crazy mixture.
And thanks for those nougats, toad! Yum!

Mum's been nagging at me to start doing something to my Chinese paper.
That's the reason why I'm grounded, again.
Just two more days then I'll be set free from this cage, though.

And man, I seriously don't think that driving is a good idea.
It seems to be so troublesome and scary.
Plus I'm being rather lazy right now.
But, I wanna drive!
Sheesh, I'm contradicting myself.

Back to Chinese proverbs.
春蚕到死丝方尽，蜡炬成灰泪始干。

Words

2007-12-01T23:43:00.000+08:00

It's been raining for the whole day.

The first thought in the morning: I think the sky is addicted to raining.
But I loved it, as always.

Words that used to taunt me, floated up.

Broken trust is like a piece of broken mirror. To be made whole.
Dignities that are gone, are to be gained back again.

I love the rain. I love the never-ending raindrops. They're all linked.

I pray for a larger capacity in the heart.
I pray for a bolder tongue.
I pray for a purer heart.
I pray for a closer relationship with God.
I pray for... so much more.

All of me (360 days to go)

2007-11-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

God: "Jamie, can you give Me your all?"
Me: "But God, can I keep a thing?"
God: "I said, can you give your ALL?"
Me: "...."
God: "Well?"
Me: "OKAY!"

Reignited dreams.
That desire that burns wildly.

And so much more.

Lalala.

Have all the lactic acids that accumulated at my muscles now.

And tralala.

BREAKAWAY (361 days to go)

2007-11-29T20:50:00.000+08:00

Jumped at the height like never before.
I realized, that pair of Crocs all the way from Singapore enabled me to jump higher.
Like, all springy and rubbery.
But the muscles of my legs are all in oxygen debt now.
If you get what I mean.

For the day, God reminded me about worship.
Worship as a lifestyle.
More than a song, more than lifting up your hands, more than bowing down.
The way you treat people, the words you say.
And so much more.

Feel all drained out after acting like a youth for the whole day.
Fine, I'm a youngster I know, but I don't possess that kind of stamina.
Well, thank to the school for lifting off our physical education classes.

I'm rambling.

I think I need some sleep.

何当共剪西窗烛，却话巴山夜雨时。

Chinese (362 days to go)

2007-11-28T23:02:00.000+08:00

Excessive sleep.
I starved myself, just because I wanted to sleep.
Until I dreamt of myself eating.
D'oh!

I want to write a book.
But I don't think I want to get it published.

I want to write poems.
Just for us.

I still feel like studying.

众里寻他千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在灯火阑珊处。

Pig (363 days to go)

2007-11-27T21:48:00.000+08:00

Well I'm pushing myself to finish this part
I can handle a lot
But one thing I miss
It's in your eyes
Rogue Wave

I'm trying to delete off some informations from my brains.
So that I can have more capacity to contemplate.

I slept the whole afternoon off.
Blame the antibiotics.

And all I wanna do is to eat and sleep.

And listen to Rogue Wave's Eyes.

And read some annoying kinky books.

And .... never mind about this one.

Sleep (364 days to go)

2007-11-27T00:29:00.000+08:00

With only 2 hours of sleep the previous night, I went to school and staggered around.
I could only remember counting down to the end of each paper and that really bad gastric during lunch break.
Stupid Coke.
Okay, stupid me for drinking the Coke.

Got back home around 4pm and felt like a zombie.
Almost fallen asleep even when I was bathing.

Slept until dinner time.

And slacked while searching for some reading materials.

But this sleep deprivation had now disappeared miraculously.
Which brought me here, blogging.

For tomorrow, sleep, and sleep, and SLEEP!
Don't wake me up. Thank you.

Bio (365 days to go)

2007-11-25T21:05:00.000+08:00

Was deciding between coffee and an apple.
Ended up with biting the apple.

Biology tomorrow.
The only living cell in the xylem cells are the parenchyma cells.
Like, what does it have to do with me?

I think we need to scream after Biology 3 tomorrow at 4:30pm.
And have a can of Coke to celebrate!

For today, I'm craving for sushi.
Sigh, must stop craving for random foods.

I think I eat too much.
Especially junk foods.

Come to think of it, someone owes me candies!

I can't wait for tomorrow to end.

Pure

2007-11-25T11:25:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry.
And thank you.
(there's nothing here, it's an empty space)
What's needed to be spoken, had been done.
I'm grateful for people.
Through ups and downs.
Even when I'm puking.
Or cranky.
(told u, nothing. nothing to dig about)
Confidence, yes. Fully pumped.

Cootie Wootie

2007-11-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

Safe as a cootie wootie with you
Never pretend the chill
Too many shadows, too many sails
Nobody move, nobody move
Pinback

It's night like this that I would repeat the same song for 50 times.
Or more.
I can listen to indie rock forever.

I closed my eyes and I found that I have a wider vision that way.
I almost wanted to put it as infinity.
Imaginations run real wild.
Dreams are usually composed with eyes closed, don't they?

Then I thought of what greatness means.
Greatness does not have an end.
When you finally reached a pinnacle, you then long for something greater.
Higher, bigger, and wilder.
The zenith of something simply means you have to work harder for the next one.

It's almost a vicious cycle.

There are a lot of things I want to contemplate about.
But I might get irrational and wander into the wilderness.
I'm not interested in getting lost. Again.

And I want to write you a poem.

Fixate

2007-11-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

Fixate.

3 subjects left.

I'm a little disappointed. Because here it is, the end of my secondary school.

The past 5 years were not enough.

I want to stay longer.

I don't mind hot afternoons with instant noodles as lunch.

I don't mind enduring double Malay Language on Monday morning.

I don't mind Sissy Law being all .. sissy and nags at us.

I don't mind reading Biology through the night.

I don't mind screwing up Add Maths all the time.

I don't mind the girls giving me that look when I repeat the same stories.

I can't believe I'm gonna leave this place that I'm so used to.

And so many untouched souls.

Boohoo.

Anyway, can we start burning our notes now?

P/S: HAPPY 23TH BIRTHDAY, RAY DA GE!! I'M SURE YOU'VE GOT LOADS OF CHEESE CAKES ALL THE WAY IN SINGAPORE!

Nothing

2007-11-21T21:15:00.000+08:00

For a start, I wonder what am I doing here when all I want to do is to get some sleep and to study before I screw up the Chemistry papers tomorrow.

And then I feel like writing something, of something that I have no idea what to write about. But this nothingness in my brain is urging me to write something that's nothing.

You get me?

Oh never mind, just 4 more papers to go.

I don't sound stressed? Or do I?

P/S: Have u ever seen a circuit with resistance as high as 320 ohms? What does it need such high resistance for? Resist what? An ant?

Flutter

2007-11-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

I found something in the sea of words: flutter.

Like the eagle that's ready to soar.
I can't hold it back.

Like the chaotic rhythm, the heart flutters.
Even deep breathes do not help.

*

I was all awake the previous night due to being panic.
And being void.
That pang of insecurities hit real hard.
They just creep into me unnoticed.

Which caused me now to be all sleep-deprived.
(I heard your voice, and your smile and now I can sleep well)
Tomorrow: Physics, piece of cake, somebody says.

Hupakoe

2007-11-18T18:01:00.000+08:00

I'm a little used to wandering outside the rain
You can leave me tomorrow if it suits you just the same
But I don't know enough, I need someone who leaves the day
Daniel Powter

Hupakoe. That's a Greek word for the day.

I had a bad dream for the previous night.
Being mocked at.
But owned something i do not own in real life.
It was a dream full of sorrows, yet loves at the same time.
Does it reflect anything?

I took a minute to find Matthew 11:28.
STOP HIGHLIGHTING, AND PLS EAT MORE!!
And I wish to be a poet.

Cul-de-sac

2007-11-17T23:44:00.000+08:00

I realised, when you've come to a cul-de-sac, it doesn't mean the end of something. It simply indicates that it's time to look upward and there, the wide and vast skies, who says it's the end?

And then all those problems that lead you to this cul-de-sac do not matter anymore. Because you learnt, you gained, you sacrificed.

I once heard this: God won't teach you lesson, but He gives you a situation or problem for you to learn from it.

That's when you also realised that you're growing up!

Toad

2007-11-16T22:19:00.001+08:00

In Tina Toad's place.

We slept, we ate, we studied, we talked and we crapped.
And then we're stuck to listen to Alan Kuo.

Some studies have to be done though.
Like, Chemistry and Physics.
But, nyeh!

I'm off to talk to her.

Buhhh.

Magician

2007-11-15T19:36:00.000+08:00

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

*

The day wasn't too productive.
I slept too much. Way too much.

I decided to reduce my hatred towards blue colour.
So I'm gonna start by wearing a blue shirt tomorrow.

Your voice can change the vibe of the worst situation.
And even my heart feels warm when I say your name.
Now I believe that you're a magician.

SPM

2007-11-14T21:46:00.000+08:00

Third day of exam, but it felt so long.
And we have an invigilator who never smiles.
And one who wears different shoes everyday.
At least for the past 3 days.

I slept through the afternoon and woke up feeling real guilty.
But shall fill in tomorrow with more revisions.
And sleeps.

Self-expressing can be so troublesome sometimes.
That is, if it's not worth it.
I've decided to stop channeling the deepest thought out.
But not restricting myself to feel.

(You're to be kept in the heart)
Our aim is to perpetuate these loves we've found together.

Birthday

2007-11-13T22:29:00.000+08:00

Officially 7. I mean, 17! Seventeen! 7teen! 17!

Would take this opportunity to thank everyone for the presents and wishes.
Those who sent in SMSes at 12am and kept me awake.
The efforts and all the surprises.
And the prayers.
Thanks for being so sweet, people!

And I can't stop smelling myself now.
(laugh)

Will you still be around when I'm 27? 37? 47? 57? ...

Eve of SPM

2007-11-11T21:18:00.000+08:00

On the eve of SPM, I dined out and went shopping.
And I couldn't stop sending Athena lame MMSes.
Frivolous? Certainly not!

For dinner, I wouldn't stop myself from stuffing foods into my mouth.
I ate everything. Even the vegetables, in large amount.
A bar of chocolate had gone, too.
I guess that's what stress can do unto us.

I'm so gonna get fat after the exam!

Brother is back, with my favourite liquor.
It's as my birthday present, he said.
Bad timing. I can't possibly mix them when it's SPM tomorrow.
For clear mind's sake.

I'M NOT STRESSED!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm off to read some articles in Malay Language.

Selamat Tinggal!

(No, I'm NOT stressed. HAHAHAHAHAHA)

UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

2007-11-11T11:29:00.000+08:00

(laugh)

UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall AnotherBoyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support

Rain

2007-11-10T23:32:00.000+08:00

The rain was at the exact strength that I like.
But the road accident I saw on the way home was traumatizing.
I'm fairly sure that it's not my fault for liking the rain, though.

I have too many chocolates in the fridge.

I was so fascinated by a Nikon D200 and the SB600 speedlight!
Drools.

And then there was this moment that God spoke like He used to.
WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA.
I missed you big time, God!

Nothing beats His presence.

Apple

2007-11-09T21:56:00.000+08:00

I want to plant an apple tree at the backyard of your house.

2007-11-08T21:57:00.000+08:00

Upon finishing the Histories of Form 4, I celebrated by― taking a long bath!
See, that's what histories did to me.

And then there it is, my favourite chocolate in the whole universe lying right next to me! Ah, the path to fatness!

Question of the day: Do you remember anything in your infant days?

OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH. 4 DAYS TILL SPM.

*drinks Coke to calm self*

2007-11-07T22:04:00.000+08:00

If your eyeballs move, this means you're thinking, or about to start thinking.
If you don't want to be thinking at this particular moment, try to keep your eyeballs still.

*

Listened through an old album.
Am quite disappointed for not being able to find a song that suits myself.
None of the song sings of my heart.

*

Less than a week till I'm officially seventeen.
WHOA.

5sc1

2007-11-06T21:35:00.000+08:00

So many ups and so many downs.
So many joys and so many sorrows.
So many to take and so many to let go.
But they are all so normal to be here.

Last day of school, reminded me that I have to grow up.
To make another decision and step further.
I want to be 15, yet I wanna grow up too.
Life, is so much of an exciting journey.

Familiar faces that I won't be seeing again much.
No more arguments with the guys sitting at the back.
No more candies during the lessons.
No more passing notes to Athena at the right.
No more writing long notes to LC beside me.
No more comparisons about guys with LC.
No more laughing at HT's frequent mistakes while speaking.
No more consulting JC about girly stuffs.
No more endless candies from Moh Moh.
No more (annoying) national anthem early in the morning.
No more complaining about the form teacher.
No more going against to anything Sissy Law has to say.
No more dreading the Malay Language lesson.
No more calling the Malay Language teacher as a frog.
No more guessing about why the teachers are in good moods.
No more trying to elude Mr Thien, the Maths teacher.
No more taking the Moral Studies lessons as free periods.
No more waiting for Mdm Wong at the door before Chinese lessons.
No more bak chang and 'okeh' to laugh about.
No more trying hard to grasp what Ms Hwong saying.
No more seeing Ms Hwong going crazy and mumbles by herself.
No more seeing Mdm Yeo flushes red and back to normal in 5 seconds.
No more acting cute with Mdm Yeo.
No more 'arghhh' from Mr Mok.
No more staring at Ms Lim when I can't understand Add Maths.
No more commenting about Ms Lim's really pretty legs. =X
No more (failed) arguments with Mdm Pearl.
No more messing around in the laboratories.
No more early morning assembly where Mdm Helen changes her tones so fast.
No more curry mee from the canteen every Thursday.
No more maggi mee curry on Wednesday afternoon.
No more nags from HT when I drink too much of Coke.
No more afternoon Cornettos!
No more dozing off during BM/English/Physics.

and anyone wanna continue it?

5sc1'07

2007-11-05T20:44:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow: the last day to go crazy together in the school uniforms!
MUCH LOVES, 5sc1'07!

Exam

2007-11-04T21:31:00.000+08:00

So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
Azure Ray

Picture taken during a boring Malay Language lesson.
Which, I don't think would have much left to endure with.

After this week, it would be the real battle.
One that I've been preparing for more than 10 years.
How exciting.

The brother asked how would I conquer the world.
I said with the cuteness.
(laugh)

The neighbour is singing the birthday song with high amplitude.
I have the urge to join in despite not knowing them.
God is blessing you now x4.

So now, what comes first shall be treated first.
Even histories are getting a little interesting.
And Physics seem to be a little less confusing.

I know where to stand.
I know where I stand.

Obedience

2007-11-03T20:25:00.000+08:00

The lost ones shall be found again.
The forgotten ones shall be reminded again.
The broken ones shall be mended again.
No matter how many pieces, stick it, stick it back!

No, I don't know what am I mumbling about.
Perhaps I would know it soon.

Self-blaming isn't a way to go.
It's unnecessary and almost stupid.

Listened to a sermon this afternoon.
It touched on internal obedience.
The obedience and love that come from faith.
Reminded me of the contradictions around.

Obedience is better than sacrifice, King Solomon said.

For a few nights, I fell asleep reading histories.
Together with a tiny tinge of disappointment
That should not even be there in the first place.

Days are passing by so fast.
Too fast that when we blink, we miss out a lot.

How then, shall we live every second to the fullest?

Forgetful

2007-11-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

I realised how much of a forgetful person I am.
I tend to forget a lot.
And I can't seem to get a reminder around.
Persistence.

Re-listened the sermons on Antinomianism.
I still laughed at some funny laws.
Legalism and all.

I received a long two pages letter.
The words speak so loud.
And so deep into the heart.
To see myself appreciated and loved.
With a hilarious postscript.
Laugh.

Gave out a Cadbury Breakaway.
The name alone speaks.

And sometimes, many times, always
Things are better left unmentioned publicly.

Reshuffled

2007-10-31T19:21:00.000+08:00

Watched the rain.
Reshuffled the priorities.

And where would you be at?

Brighter than sunshine

2007-10-30T20:17:00.000+08:00

I ate more than usual for dinner.
Because I wanted to spend more time on the table.
Talking over everything with the parents.

*

The morning was like a winter day.
Strangely cold with mild sunlight.

Wrote all the chemical equations in pink and they look so much better that way. I don't mind writing more of it.

*

Have an ulcer in the mouth.
Watermelon frost saves the day.

*

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling
Aqualung

*

Repeating the same songs over 20 times.

*

Moral Studies is so boring.
I have been using the same 2 values over and over again.
Like how I'm repeating the same song.

*

Contemplating.
Whether to believe those 3 words.
(because I do love you)
*

If you sneeze when someone misses you, do you get a flu when someone misses you much?

Tommy Bear

2007-10-29T21:49:00.000+08:00

Quite an adventure for Tommy Bear.

In my bag, holding a packet of chocolate.

I woke up to an early morning rain, along with gastric.
Put on my pink jacket and braved myself ready for the day.

Walked into school with a folder and bear toy in the bag.
Pre-school kid, Eric said.

*

The monsoon season is here.
Found myself waiting for the rain to fall, daily.

I always have this sudden urge to burst through the door
and out into the rain.
But never got enough adrenaline to do so.

Right, I'm back to Biology.

YOU

2007-10-28T21:57:00.000+08:00

Early birthday present.
I named the bear after the giver.

And it's going to school with me tomorrow!

I prefer hugging people though; they hug back.
But the favourite person to hug would be that one with clean smell.
(and a very good kisser.)
Sometimes, me too, am perplexed.
But I guess that's perfectly normal and inevitable.

I would say, to do something different.
Walking on with a different view and thoughts.
Then perhaps, the outcomes, too, would be different.

For now, grab unto that little burning desire.
Adding oil from time to time.
What, then, can stop me?

And I know, to have confidence.
Nobody is able to give that sense of security except myself.
Perhaps, next time, I would lock it even firmer, tighter.
So the rate of my heartbeat would be back to normal.

Kisses

2007-10-27T11:38:00.000+08:00

Gave out the most creative birthday present ever: a can of Coke!
Wrapped with pink paper and words written in pink.
How sweet! (pun intended)

I can't quite compose myself.
Overwhelmed.
Flows of electrons.
That one hour.
And the tiny rains.

Words are not flowing.
That's it.

Insecurity, again.

2007-10-26T21:50:00.000+08:00

Skipped school and filled it with some Chemistry.
And loads of candies and potato chips.

Being insecure is like fumbling for the light switch but can't find it.
I know it IS there, yet quite unreachable.

But it all doesn't matter, anyway.

Exquisite extremes, we are;
you and me. Sometimes
I can't see where you are
from where I'm standing.

Popular Mechanics for Lovers

2007-10-25T21:37:00.000+08:00

Just because he loves you too
He would never take a bullet for you
Don’t believe a word he says
He would never cut his heart out for you
Popular Mechanics for Lovers

**

We had tons of laughs in school for the day.
To a point that LC complained her sore cheeks.

**

Would just say that I will kiss your pain away.

Romantic

2007-10-24T21:42:00.001+08:00

According to Dictionary.com,
ro·man·tic /roʊˈmæntɪk/
–adjective
2. fanciful; impractical; unrealistic: romantic ideas.
9. imaginary, fictitious, or fabulous.

Seriously, what's with the editor and romance?

Why are u
highlighting?
I do not write anything here

Ok, I will say this - YOU BETTER EAT OR I WILL BITE YOU!

And pardon me while I'm eating Arnott's Shapes.

Negativity

2007-10-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

The rain finally
decided to stop after
4 hours.
The stopped rain
induces distress.

I like the way u shouted those three words.
(I LOVE YOU)
How to avoid certain hurt
when one only realises that something
is potentially hurtful
so late?
Way too late.

And I guess I have been
a really lousy person
to people around me
that all I bring are negativities.

Sigh.

I must have forgotten something.

Insecurity

2007-10-22T22:10:00.000+08:00

Freezing.
But cold bath, still.
Keeping self clear-minded.
Archimedes' Principle.
Delicate doll.
Bewildered.
Stay still.
Still.
Still.
Still.
Depend.

Pang of insecurities.

Sunday

2007-10-22T14:15:00.000+08:00

Wasn't here for the previous day
because the day hasn't end yet
today is still yesterday.

I would never want the night to end
but the sun rises, still
and I made it to now
with less than 2 hours of nap.

Things I've just realised
pierced through my heart
leaving it wounded
had me smiling and tearing at the same time
that was how it hurt.

But I realised it's almost impossible
to think and stand straight
and not to laugh at the smallest thing
when I'm all sleep-deprieved.

I talked about certain someone
way too much that
Athena threaten to hate the person.
But hey, I didn't sleep!

And the wounded heart?
Never mind about that
'cos it mends when
there are loves all around.

It's time to
finally get some proper sleep
so here I depart from
the 4th Sunday in October 2007.

Your Smell

2007-10-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning, panting.
The nightmare was colorful, though I was anxious.
But oh, it was just a dream, just a dream.

3 hours of tuition in the afternoon.
Dissected the past years questions.
Yawned 5 times. Kat did it 7 times.
And my stomach was growling.

And right now I've tired out.
I wonder why when I had so many sleeps.
Way too much.

But, still.
I would love to just sleep and dream sweet dreams.
('cos your smell lingers.)
I'm reading 3 books right now and I'm confused.
Laugh.

Mundane

2007-10-19T22:27:00.000+08:00

Mundane.

I've just spent some time reading about The Ladder Theory.
Interesting.

Seeking.
Yet to be found.

Ignoring.
Yet affectionate.

And it rained.

But there are so much more.

Much more than what's been expressed.

AHHHH.

Me go do add maths.

Yes, at 10:30pm.

Don't stop me.

My tutor wants it to be done by tomorrow.

AND HEY, WHERE ARE YOU?

Words

2007-10-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

The Brother asked what's up and I answered something that's down.

The break is going to end very soon. I'm glad. I have to stop sleeping so much and wasting my life away. At least I can talk in class.

Or do something productive like ~~arguing~~ discussing over a Physics question.

At times like this I really can't find any words to put everything into words.

Or perhaps it's the fear of letting the whole world seeing through me.

Nothing much, anyway.

Athena kept saying I smiled so sweetly.

I call that overwhelmed.

Shrug.

A lot to say, really.

But, never mind.

Cold

2007-10-17T21:10:00.000+08:00

Cold feet. Lazy. Dum dee dum. Biology.

Maddeningly complicated. Yet simple. Still.

SPM. Hiatus, no. Still.

Hatred can stay benign. Still. Or at least, I'm pretending to.

Cold. Still.

A told secret isn't a secret anymore.

Hot chocolate, I wish.

Too much to say, but too little words.
(I miss you, too)

Without

2007-10-16T22:29:00.000+08:00

Well, just sorry for
disappearing for the
whole day

slept way too much for
a quiet tuesday

calculus as detestable as ever

i feel incomplete
something is missing
for a day without

or perhaps i'm
just PMS-ing

i just called athena a toad
(laugh)

STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY.

Study

2007-10-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

Took a step backward
Looked around
Realised
Nothing really changed

The heart still beats at its usual rhythm
The content
Still the same

I spent the previous night consoling people
And read a book
Until 6 in the morning
Finally went to sleep with birds started to chirp

Couldn't quite solve Chemistry questions in tuition
So I paid a visit to McD
And got myself a green bean sundae
To comfort myself
But I ended up with a Big Mac
And fries

Dum dee dum

I bought some candies
With loads of aspartame
Ahhh! Aspartame

Half of October had passed
DANG!

STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY

Ignorance

2007-10-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

My room filled with a clean scent
I have a new bed sheet on
Bright and jovial
Like how I want it to be

*

Another young soul who tried to end life
So much of pain to take
Too much of a burden for a young soul

Sometimes a certain pain is too much to take
That we choose to ignore it
Ignorant is bliss, they say

*

I have some ranitidine
And some pills in green
They shall do something to my stomach

*

I realised I've been limiting my vision
So I expanded
And found new stuffs

Things that are now different from the way they used to be
Things I thought that are impossible
Now seem possible

Things I found in him
And him
And myself

All too much to swallow

*

But it's okay
I'll be seventeen just this once
Just this once

Wishlist

2007-10-13T15:02:00.000+08:00

Seventeenth birthday in a month.

Wishlist:

1
Replace Macy the camera, preferably a dSLR

2
Replace Macy the camera, preferably a dSLR

3
Replace Macy the camera, preferably a dSLR

4
Replace Macy the camera, preferably a dSLR

5
Sony Pink Vaio

6
Pink iPod

7
Pink rain

8
Books. Sarah Dessen/Lester Sumrall/etc

9
Still, pink rain.

10
Replace Macy the camera, preferably a dSLR

Great. Now I sound totally materialistic.

Trees

2007-10-12T23:14:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we seem to be like a tree standing against strong winds, swaying. The winds then accompanied by roaring of thunders and more than often, lightnings that usually strike right into us, leaving us with wounds.

But trees do not really tumble after a fierce weather like this, do they?

That's for the thought of the day.

Eclipse

2007-10-11T21:46:00.000+08:00

Quite an empty Thursday.

Spent the day reading Stephenie Meyer's Eclipse.
And Athena kept telling me the spoilers during tuition.
I kicked her unintentionally to repay it.

Talk about tuition,
we spent so much time passing notes
and talk craps that we couldn't find points to compose an article.

And The Tutor claimed that I'm getting
thinner and thinner each day.
While Mr Punkie said chubbier.
Confusing.

*

You pain hurts me too.
Things are not suppose to be in this way.
But I do not know how to make it okay.

I'm sorry.

(GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.)

2007-10-10T22:41:00.000+08:00

Am more sick than I thought I am.
I ought to rest. More.
Being nauseous doesn't feel good at all.

And The Little Brother said agony is sweet.
Roll eyes.

Did not manage to sleep the night before.
Running into the toilet twice with 40 minutes interval.
Vomited. Bile juice.

Sometimes bubbly people makes us cheerful as well.
That's why I don't mind singing her a song.

My PC had turned mute.
I miss the sounds of Jack's Mannequin on a quiet night.

We run after what we long for in life.
That's how we live by.

(GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.)

2007-10-09T21:57:00.000+08:00

It's a beautiful Tuesday.
And it's easy to lose oneself during times like these.
In a negative way.

I blabbered out everything.
Stupidly.

Olives said there's no romance in heaven.
I cringed upon the statement.

I had YY to trim my fingernails in class today.
How sweet.

I love the smell of orange juice.
It reminds me of so much.

Small Eyes

2007-10-08T21:52:00.000+08:00

(!!!)

There aren't really much words that I can put down here.

After a long day of Biology and Chinese Language.

Trying to filter out the unnecessary thoughts.

But all are tangled up and almost impossible to separate them.

I think I have this fetish towards small eyes.

And they are poisonous.

Ghee!

2007-10-08T06:05:00.000+08:00

This is a little too cold for a Monday morning.
My fingers are practically frozen.

I wonder how it all happened.
From nothing to something.

And from something to what I'm trying to ignore.

Funny.

Pink Rain

2007-10-08T00:08:00.000+08:00

PINK RAIN!
I TOLD YOU I HAVE THE SWEETEST CGL EVER!

Over.

2007-10-07T21:27:00.000+08:00

Not my words..

It's never over. How can something be over that is the essence of what it means to go on in perpetuity- the vicious familial line that runs on an invisible string, linking us to our past and to our future, to what we embrace and to what we try to deny? Take the proverbial scissors and snip at it if you dare, but you're snipping into thin air because the thread lies inside. To sever it would mean the end of breath and the end of life, which, to some, is just another beginning. Thus the cycle continues.
So it wasn't over.
It never is and never will be.

Tiffanie DeBartolo

There are many things I want to think about.

I wish I won't finish reading Tiffanie DeBartolo's book.
Athena told me it ended with unbearable pain. Of Trixie.

What had happened, had happened.
It's absurd to undo.
And ludicrous for having such thought.

I haven't been looking into people's eyes much lately.
But I looked into yours.
I thought I could believe what I saw.
(nvm about this, you won't understand it, anyway)

Ha! Now that I don't hate Add Maths as much as I used to.
Miracle.
=]

Cokes

2007-10-06T23:56:00.000+08:00

Sticky fingers with a can of Coke, obviously ain't no a good way to end a Saturday.

Sometimes things seem to be a little surreal yet so tangible.

Funny how I asked myself to not to trust myself.

Conscience speaks.

I found something new.

Charming, indeed.

Ahhh.

No.

Resist.

Game

2007-10-05T20:42:00.000+08:00

It's not a challenge nor a game; you silly.

Addicted to Corrine Bailey Rae.

When I want to get something done so desperately, words just do not seem to flow. So I off the light and brought myself to the corner of the room.

I said, say anything You want. I'm listening.

It was tough for a few minutes.

But when it starts flowing, nothing can stop it.

Tangible.

("Carry My people, in My ways and through My words.")

Can I be your invariant point?

2007-10-04T22:18:00.000+08:00

There are voices. But hear nothing because you aren't even listening.

On the other note, I started my day with an instant creamy chicken soup and laughing at the computer screen. That's how Thursdays should be.

The weather's been way too humid.

Even cold bath isn't available in season like this.

And sometimes I confused myself.

Yes.

Invariant.

Where Art Thou?

2007-10-03T21:04:00.000+08:00

I'm looking for
you
But I put in
no effort in finding you

I couldn't quite
answer the questions on
chemistry because I
am searching for my
ASPARTAME

Us declaring a day
off from school on
ourselves
To rest and to
study
of course

Lost of words
and thoughts
You filled my mind
so thoroughly
that it is
annoying

Setting foot on the
right path
So I will meet you soon
and stay with you
till the eternity

Where art thou?

I wish it rains
in pink
Really

Please, please and
please
do not say
something that you will
regret about

Add Maths

2007-10-02T22:47:00.001+08:00

And finally, I passed. A paper that I've never passed.
Not that everyone can understand the joy, though.
Still, Praise God.
Punkie said, that's how his gurl is!
The classmates insisted me to treat them.
I'm more than glad to oblige.

I haven't been able to quite share my thoughts these days. I'm more to listening and absorbing all the comments and ideas. Passivity.

Not so good.

The mind is like a chunk of spindled wool.
Couldn't quite think straight.

It's time to go for a cold bath.

Voice

2007-10-01T22:02:00.000+08:00

Punkie claimed that I've turned chubbier.
I swear, it's because of the fringe.
But I'll still be close to his heart.
Cheers!

Spent the whole day of school in the Physics laboratory.
Ennui much.

I seriously have to spend more time on doing revisions.
In stead of sleeping my afternoons off.

And yes,
That tiny voice that keeps tingling inside me.
I have to do something.

ZOMG.
The voice is getting louder when I start thinking about it.

Mike Connell

2007-09-30T23:26:00.000+08:00

Pastor Mike + yours truly + Pastor George.
What a privilege to have a photo taken with 2 great men of God.
At the same time!

Laughed too much for the night.
Spirit of joy.

And the laughters are all too contagious.

**

Sometimes I realised I'm avoiding matters that seem to be unnecessary to be avoided. I guess, that's what she told me about, self-protection.

**

Ahh, I haven't prepare for school tomorrow yet. And it's 11:50pm!

*runs*

Hugs

2007-09-29T23:38:00.000+08:00

Spent the afternoon fiddling with the True Friend Test thingy. And there are 2 souls who are addicted to create the test.

I've officially lose my voice. Screamed the lungs out for the night.

The night was way too great. So many hugs.

AND! Joanne decided to carry me and twirled me around.

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I felt like a kid, and asked for more.

So she did it again.

More (!!!!!!!!!!)

And that unexpected hug from Pastor Mike Connell(!!!).

I can go on talking about hugs.

. i wish

. to hug u

. but i dont have the

. guts to do so

Blogger's block.

Night.

Hair

2007-09-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

I don't know where did the courage come from. I sat on the black-colored leather chair and mumbled 3 words- anything you like to the hairstylist.

And I have fringe now.

And now I look like I'm 9. Or 10.

**

Sometimes when the touch is too deep, the pain that overflows from the wound is too much to bear. Even for the outsider.

But I would remind myself of the possible outcome, the greatness to come.

Or look at D. J., whom I managed to pump hope into his life.

Credits to God and His love.

**

I will let the night fades away while me listening to Azure Ray.

**

Seriously. I regret cutting my hair.

GAH!

2007-09-28T06:05:00.000+08:00

Afterall, it was me who used to say, people never fail to fail you.

Some people are never just meant to be.

BUT

Awesome, it's Friday!

As for the remaining emotions, they will do with some smiles.

2007-09-27T22:51:00.000+08:00

I miss God. Big time.

I wonder why do I eat when I later vomit them out again.

Gordan asked, there are 100 fishes in the tank. 1 died and the water level rises. Why?

Because after it died, the other 99 fishes cried. So the water level rises.

I'm back to the starting point.

One where I found love and hope.

Mum insisting to go for pizzas tomorrow.

Ugh.

Crazy

2007-09-26T21:37:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it. I ignored the coffee and drank milk instead.

To whoever that I've ignored today, I apologise, from my heart.

I do not know what to say.

Nor do I want to say anything.

But perhaps a chocolate is able to coax me back to myself. And say something.

Sometimes it hurts to even look around.

Crazily agonizing.

I don't know what's up with that part of heart made up of compassion.

I feel like writing to everyone, just because.

For the mean time, just grab unto that small voice within.

And yes, some love.

The day's been tough.

Disappointment

2007-09-26T13:17:00.000+08:00

5:54am.

I woke up with disappointment. Weary, even.

It felt as if my heart is going to burst. Out of my chest.

I know exactly of the reason why. But I wouldn't admit it.

Sigh.

Lanterns

2007-09-25T22:59:00.000+08:00

I realised, there are some broken hearts that can never be mended again. Broken beyond repair. But just when I think so, I remembered, broken lives and broken hearts, there's still Someone who can make them whole again.

But the first step is to let go.

*

Tuition was canceled on a really short notice. Dad insisted that I have to join the family dinner instead of heading out.

After dinner, it was dark enough for the kids to have the reason to hang the lanterns around. They were everywhere, like floating in the air.

I tried to enjoy the walk under the invisible moon, but the mosquitoes won't leave me alone. Kids were running around, screaming excitedly.

A few burnt their lanterns.

And I played the lantern, too. Battery-powered ones, that's it. Don't ask.

I actually spent 2 minutes reminiscing last year's celebration.

And there was this really cute 4-year-old named Aldric. He went to sleep at 9pm.

Good Enough

2007-09-24T21:54:00.001+08:00

Prelims ends and resume with yet another test. Tomorrow

Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.

Excessive amount of exams drives me nutz.

More blank.

The night before, I found myself hit by a pang of insecurities, like how it used to come in waves.

30 minutes later, I reallocated myself back to the right path and moved on.

Maybe I'm just being fickle.

When will we ever
be good enough?

Tired

2007-09-23T20:10:00.000+08:00

Only been awaken for less than 10 hours yet it feels longer.

Woke up to answer why were the foods there and later on to consume them all. So I ate yesterday's dinner this morning.

Chemistry happens to be the last paper tomorrow. There, the end of preliminary exam.

I seriously have to fix a cup of coffee to stay through the night. I've done approximately 3% of revisions. Screwed, I know.

I named my nonohon zoku Miyavi. And Tina calls hers Kumo.

Fidgety: undone revisions..

Long Day

2007-09-22T11:50:00.000+08:00

A seminar in the morning. Dull and bored.

Lunch and shoppings with friends in the afternoon. Overspent. And overpriced Mocha.

A gift to express the gratitude and love.

Night with God. Met an old friend. Bumpy and sleepy ride home.

I'm ready to fall asleep now.

Tomorrow

2007-09-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

This week of school ended with loads of guffaws and a piece of essay I can't remember myself writing.

Together with a few lines of Chinese poem that I spotted similarities between it and I.

Sorry for the incoherence.

There are so many things one will never know.

And there are those that believe that time is composed of Now-s.

My left index finger is bleeding.

Am now sitting here, waiting for tomorrow to come...

Add Maths

2007-09-20T21:48:00.000+08:00

I frowned looking through the Add Maths questions this morning. Even the one who claimed to be doing well in it did badly. Hah!

I never liked tomato kueh tiaw. Had it for dinner and it got me all nauseous again.

I guess I have to stop talking so much about some unimportant craps and start talking more about which metal would replace which due to electropositivity, or what is lipase for.

Am reading a book by Cecilia Ahern. Did not expect her to write something that witty after reading her PS I Love You. The title is A Place Called Here, anyway.

PS: I have the sweetest ~~and naggy~~ CGL in the whole world! LOVES!

Bruxism

2007-09-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

I've just realised that I'm always grinding my teeth when my gums start to hurt.
Bruxism.

Sometimes a shocking news is able to stop me from doing any other thing; despite I've kind of expected it to happen. I wish it's not true, but it is.
Bitter.

Additional Mathematics: pain in the ass. But that's part of the being seventeen.

And I have things to look forward to!

Wait for me, Saturday.

Bio

2007-09-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

Stifled a yawn and I suspect I'm way too tired.

I shouldn't have make it to the tuition at four pm. It drained me out and leave me very little energy for Biology.

Who cares about how a sperm is formed. Sigh.

Am having throbbing headache but I'm not going to take any paracetemol. And coffee doesn't really help. Perhaps I will make a second cup later on.

Things seem to be a little crazy lately.

But I will stand on where I'm standing and always stick to my list of priority.

Be wise, I tell myself.

PS: I HATE GREGOR MENDEL!

Wisdom

2007-09-17T21:32:00.000+08:00

~~Dinosaur~~ Diagnostic test for the day.

And humming Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girl in an exaggerated way. Highly amusing in the midst of the oh-so-boring papers.

I can't seem to find the right words to fill in this space. I reckon it's due to tomorrow's E. Maths paper and I can somehow see some images of graph in my brain. Upper boundary and cumulative frequency give u an ogive. Right.

Being seventeen can be so exciting! I'm having fun exploring every bit of life and ha - every trouble that I get myself into, too!

"You can't trust your affections, but you can rely on love and character."

Note to self: be guarded by wisdom.

P's

2007-09-16T20:05:00.000+08:00

He asked if I know guys are bad and I laughed saying yes, I'm aware of that.

I appreciate a person who's willing to spend much time on learning about me. Even when I'm mumbling mindlessly. But I pray for a little more wisdom while exchanging the words.

The consequence might be malignant without self-control.

I spent most of the afternoon digesting the revelations obtained from the dissection of Joseph. The pride, the pitfall, Potiphar, the presence, the priority, the prison, the prophetic interpretation, the promotion, the pardon, the products, the promise and the power of God. Very important P's indeed.

I will (try to) be a Biologist tonight!

(NOTHING MATTERS WHEN YOU'RE HERE WITH ME.)

Dream

2007-09-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

It's night like this that I feel so distant with everything.

Wanting to grab something to fill in the space, but there's barely anything that fits right into it.

I'm finding that little dream. Finding it back and set it on fire. Soon.

You remember that priorities list that you've made?

A can of Coke and a piece of Mango Delight for the night. Oh yeah, plus a lot of laughters and teasing. So full of fun.

The school decided to change the papers on Monday to Biology and Chemistry. On a really short notice, which is TODAY.

I feel like studying already.

TGIF

2007-09-14T22:23:00.001+08:00

I'm drop dead tired!

TGIF.

Histories

2007-09-13T23:57:00.000+08:00

I'm a historian tonight, one that not quite sure with what she's reading.

If I were to rewrite histories, I won't include so much details. I'm sorry if it sounds frivolous but it would be a burden for the students in the times to come because of those nonsenses. Blah.

Playing an album that aged a decade. Musics are way different back in the 90's. Chris O'Brien alone is enough to bring out what's present in the musics back then. Jumpy and all.

I'm done with the revisions of two years worth of histories, but I'm not quite sure of how much of them that I can remember.

I'm going for a sleepless night, anyway.

Call me Miss Historian!

Faithful

2007-09-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

i'm suffering from some kind of sleep deprivation but it seems i can't get myself to study so i'm back here for a bit; this is me and my absent capitals waltzing across the white tile.

i love coffee. the can of coke this morning contributed gastric.

i don't understand the idea of learning about moral studies. it brings no benefits. people are still uncivilized as ever despite scoring high mark in this paper.

i sometimes wish i can do nothing but to lie on my bed and stare into the thin air. laaa laaaa laaaa and let myself melts away into sleep.

see, i told you i'm suffering from sleep deprivation.

**

i miss god.

jaeson reminded me that intimacy with christ is about being faithful everyday and giving him the best moment of your day. and belle said, at the time when we're faithless, he remains faithful.

because nothing compares to his presence.

i've found myself something to do. to bring heaven down to earth, right here, right now.

On an exam eve without stars shining

2007-09-11T21:22:00.000+08:00

On an exam eve without stars shining:

1. I wish I can link words up and make it beautiful.

2. I believe in the power of language. Each word carries certain impact.

3. How does it feel to have your heart separated from your mind?

4. I'm looking forward to a sleepless night filled with Physics.

5. Holy town with its people drinking only milk from the Holy cows?

6. Prepare the bride for the bridegroom.

7. Armour.

8. Making 2nd cup of coffee.

9. Coke is the new coffee!

10. And ahhh.. THAT smile.

Humility

2007-09-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes a casual talk lets me understand something more about myself. Have to analyze constantly before I speak about me.

The sermon on the previous night reminded me of being an imago dei. A reflection of who God is. Of characteristics that we all shall possess.

On the other hand, humility is what I'm praying for. I pray for a heart that's willing to be molded and will never stop seeking the highest One. To think of myself less and to serve the others more. Please remind me.

Preliminary exams starts tomorrow with Malay Language. Tell me where's the force that pushes us to burn midnight oil?

Just not here yet.

Of vulnerability and sharing

2007-09-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

It's different, when it's someone else who initiates the conversation. It's not me who ask, but rather, answering. Someone who's interested in getting to know me.

With two words, the person concluded my personality: 另类. Different.

I believe in the power of late night chats: it brings two souls closer to each other. I reckon that people are more carefree to open up when it's at night, when a long day had past, it's easier to admit the vulnerability that has been hidden during the day.

Vulnerability avoids daylight.

*

Each and everyone who came to shook my hand and whispered into my ears, I appreciate it all. The warmth of your hands, the words that you spoke, encouraged me.

To some words, I really do not know how to respond. Thank you seems to be inadequate, but that's all I could reply with. Maybe I'm simply not used to the shower of compliments.

Nonetheless, I see more room of improvement for myself.

Thank You and thank you all.

Sharing

2007-09-07T23:45:00.000+08:00

In the midst of prayer, I found my heart burdened with a question, will I be able to make a difference? I remember that line I wrote in my speech, the school, the souls around me. It's more than a speech, it's what I'm burdened to fulfill.

Sometimes when I take a step to do something new, I found that little talent that buried within myself. Spontaneous yet it flows perfectly well. I thank God for her who always believes in me, backing me up, and telling me that I'm loved. I wouldn't have found all these without her. And God, please remind her to drink water and stay stronger in You. You know who you are.

While on the way back on a really bumpy ride, a room filled with noises, I gathered some loves within and prayed for each and everyone in the same dimension as mine. Although it was starless, but love bloomed.

For tomorrow, I shall let the Spirit guide my heart and my lips. Take the I out of myself and have Him who dominates the whole of me.

(Take all of me for all of You.)

Love

2007-09-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

I bought a bottle of 100 plus because the bottle itself looks nice.

Will have Nik, whom I first and last met 9 months ago in Kuching this weekend. But then again, I doubt that I will be to make it to that concert on Sunday, when he will be working. (Plus Mayday's isn't my kind of music.)

Ha! Exam actually starts tomorrow. *gulps*

**

How big is the universe?
Infinite.
How do you know?
I know because all the data indicates it's infinite.
But it hasn't been proven yet.
No.
You haven't seen it.
No.
How do you know for sure?
I don't, I just believe it.
It's the same with love I guess.

Wednesday

2007-09-05T22:07:00.000+08:00

Grace of God often grabbed me with amazement. Reminded me of Tiffie who always says, His grace is sufficient.

Some people from certain institution came to the school and invited us to join their project. Their aim is to collect 55, 000 hand prints and (try to) make it into the Malaysia Book of Records. We left our hand prints on pieces of white cloth, with red paint. It looked as if we've just killed someone and stained our hands with blood with the red paint on.

At 7pm, I found myself doing Physics exercises. I'm impressed.

*

There are some things we never want to get used to, just so every single time it remains a surprise.

Works

2007-09-04T22:23:00.001+08:00

I've finally came across a person who blogs even more ambiguously than I do.

*

Things that are happening here are slow. People around aren't really that motivated to study. Maybe we just aren't panic enough. We still spend most of the time looking through pictures in cellphone or yakking away rather than doing revisions in school.

And, that undone Math homeworks on the table. Lalala.

A lot of revisions to be done. Piles of questions to practice on. Self-discipline. Self-discipline. Self-discipline. SPM.

Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down
Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your eyes
All of my world hanging on your love
Switchfoot

Rain

2007-09-03T22:12:00.000+08:00

I was closing my eyes while showering and I felt the infinity of my own world. I kinda stretched my hands and tried to reach something, but nothing came in contact. So, that is how infinity feels?

She said, to dream. I spent fifteen minutes thinking what to dream of. Then I thought of that little fervour within me yesterday. And I know, what exactly to dream and aim of. The dream grows.

And then it rains. And I smiled. And I smiled. And I smiled. And it rains even heavier.

(I secretly wish that I would be able to be there for you.)

Sunday with myself

2007-09-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

I dreamt that i was being killed. But no, I wasn't really killed, I survived.

A Sunday spent with myself: am suddenly brimming with a kind of fervour that has been absent for a while now: there are things that I want to do and for once I am inspired to actually make them happen.

I want to write you a letter, but do not quite know where to start from.
I know you well, I know your smell.

"A heart is a fragile thing. That's why we protect them so vigorously, give them away so rarely, and why it means so much when we do. Some hearts are more fragile than others. Purer, somehow. Like crystal in a world of glass, even the way they shatter is beautiful."

A long talk

2007-09-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

I spent 30 minutes waiting for my fettucine during dinner. I don't think I would ever step into that restaurant again.

Conquering fear sounds so much easier to me now. :)

An hour of talk on the road with Philip was truly exciting, albeit being the first time we actually talked.

Lessons taught by God, cell group growth, IT, God's voice, spiritual growth, roads-recognition, people we're grateful for, reminders for each other et cetera.

We tend to forget to keep that relationship with God when we're too busy with handling our studies or jobs or ministries. But the most precious part of our walk with Christ, would be that intimacy and closeness with God Himself. Nothing compares to His presence.

He ended the night saying he learned new things through me. I couldn't be more glad that my words actually bring changes in someone's life. (Praise the Lord)

(And I thought it would rain at night when I saw the massive clouds this morning.)

Friday

2007-08-31T22:36:00.000+08:00

Am just done with biting an apple. Did I tell you apple is my favourite fruit?

Got up nine in the morning and break the fast with parents together somewhere near 3rd Mile. Later on headed for some shoppings and payed a visit to a bookstore. SPM is too near for me to get any book.

**

Look, that's the star that I've been mentioning to you all along.

It's here tonight.

I sometimes wish people would switch off their lights so I can watch the stars better. But not everyone fancies those rocks, anyway.

**

I just sneezed. Did you miss me? (smiles)

Pre National Day Celebration

2007-08-30T22:16:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 3:40am to watch the rain. It was real heavy and therapeutic.

I'm rather glad that we actually held the National Day assembly in respective classrooms this morning. We ~~listened~~ ignored the messages from principal and listened to the performances. One of the guys who sang did it out of tune. Way too amusing for a rainy Thursday morning.

And those childish flags we all held. I thought we asked for the ones with chocolates? Hrmm. The National Day celebration never quite excites me.

A free Friday would mean breakfast with parents, shoppings with parents and catch up as much sleep as possible.

Forget about the sleeping part, I need to start to do some revisions. The pang of guilt hits me like anything.

Oh, I can almost smell Saturday!

We're looking up at the same night sky

2007-08-29T20:19:00.000+08:00

Right, am still reading Nicholas Sparks after the longest time. I like the way things are going: quiet, moving, beautiful. But one never does know how these stories end.

Am not answering the phone that's vibrating right next to me now. It shows of an unfamiliar number and I'm not interested to know who it is from. At all.

National Day celebration in school early tomorrow morning. Are all encouraged to wear the traditional costumes, but nobody bothers to. The lessons will be resumed after 10am.

Relating Augustus Caesar to Jesus Christ. I never really quite liked histories but I guess I can do with this. The previous history teacher of mine was impressed when he heard of the marks I scored for history paper this term. Hrmmm.

A friend just called up to do some aimless talks. The call alone is enough to brighten up the night. Come to think of it, I wonder if the moon is there tonight.

Off to join the prayer meeting in the other side of the city, in my own room!

(We're looking up at the same night sky.)

Tuesday

2007-08-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

I had been typing and backspacing for so many times. I can't find the right word to use to start. Maybe I can do with numbers.

The skies this morning were in a mixture of orange and pink and maybe white. I couldn't quite recognize the colours, but they were pretty.

I constantly amaze myself with my responses toward various incidents. I chose to love and learn from everything that doesn't happen as I wished. And that makes all the difference.

What's there to be unhappy about, anyway? God's never stop speaking.

I've been stumbling across so many materials themed with Love since last week. The gamut of God's emotions. <3!

I wonder if God will pour a pink rain if I ask for it long enough.

Owww, I have to complete the rest of my undone Biology questions.